He has thought about it since May

Told Danny what Tess said. I had it framed as a funny thing — you will not believe what Tess suggested — which is the coward's delivery and I knew it as I was doing it. He did not laugh. He said: I have thought about it. He has thought about it since May. Since the hospital. He has been waiting for me to raise it because he did not want me to feel pushed toward my parents by him, in case it landed as him deciding something about my family on my behalf. Six months. Both of us. Not mentioning the same thing, for considerate reasons, in opposite directions. That is the second time in three weeks I have found out he was standing on the other side of a wall I thought I was leaning on alone, and I am starting to wonder how many more of these there are. We talked until half eleven. Properly — what his work would actually look like up there, whether the Caldwell relationship can be a referral rather than a loss, what my licence needs, Springfield versus Northampton versus staying nearer Greenfield, what we do with this house, whether we would rent it or sell it, and whether we are talking about next year or in three years. No decision. But an actual conversation with numbers in it, which is the first one we have had about the future that was not two people being careful. Slept badly, which is becoming the reliable indicator that something real happened.