Caldwell is back

Caldwell is back on. Smaller than it was — two phases instead of three — but back, and with the retainer intact, which is the part that actually matters. Danny was pleased in the specific way he gets where he does not say anything at all and just starts cooking something complicated. There was a point around seven where he was making a sauce that required him to stand there stirring for twenty minutes and he was visibly enjoying the standing and stirring. I watched from the table and felt the relief arrive about two minutes after I expected it to. The two minutes again. I have now noticed this four times since June — the house inspection, Dale's retention numbers, the quarter in May, and tonight. There is a gap between good news arriving and good news landing, and in that gap I am waiting for the rest of the sentence. I said it out loud this time, which is new. I said: it takes me about two minutes to believe good news. And he said, yeah, since the Feldman year. Just like that. With a wooden spoon. He has apparently known that about me for four years and has never mentioned it, because — and he said this quite plainly when I asked — he did not think it was his to bring up.

I asked him exactly that, actually, which a month ago I would not have. He thought about it for a while and said: the car thing. The eleven minutes. He has known the whole time and decided it was mine. So there are two of us doing this. I have been writing in here for six months as though I was the only one with a private file.